Life as we (don’t) know it

Life has an uncanny way of being ahead of you.It knows what’s good for you.It knows if you’ve been bad, it also knows if you’re doing something with half a heart and no pride. It can smell over confidence, life can wriggle it’s neck and squeeze it out of your guts till all you have left is a hollow in place of Confidence. It knows what comes next.But it gets wicked satisfaction in unfolding your present like a tight, well-written,nail-biting mystery novel. Life’s like that.It walks ahead of you, it eludes all guesses and plans, it underwhelms in an overwhelming cricket match and overwhelms when you least expect it. My Life has shocked me, mocked me and locked me out of my own sane mind. I have wished.It has delivered. Even the wishes that have lived in the deep corners and the unseen crevices of my mind. Even the wishes that I was not ready to handle. Life has mothered me, smothered me and bothered me. It has been boring and uneventful one second and like a whirlpool the other. It’s been like the bitchy elder sister that gobbles your rightful piece of cake, like the friend that turns on you after you’ve spilled all your secrets , like a believable horror movie and an unbelievable piece of gossip. Life’s like that. You think it’s yours wholly, like a faithful lover, but then it goes ahead and attaches itself to another being,another thing, another idea,another identity. Illusions of control, delusions of happiness, hallucinations of belonging.Most times,Life is everything that you don’t need, but can have. Can I be bigger than my Life? Can I detach from all that my Life owns? Who is the master of my mind? My Life or I? I have been on many crossroads, many forks and many U-turns in my life. Some I have treated as part of a bigger plan while others have shown their ugly face during blissfully good times. Inevitable.Unavoidable.Tiring even. The road has been uneven,winding and uphill.A deadly ride with a good view. Beautiful,fragrant breeze before a storm. I’ve had great times but they’ve never been guilt-free. I’ve got great opinions, but i’ve never been carefree. This dilemma that has become a constant companion in my journey has managed to get a voice of it’s own in my head. It urges me to break free.But carefully. It urges me to be strong willed. But listen to elders too. Have i learnt to live with dichotomy? Does that make me a hypocrite? Or am i just giving in to Life?

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